It is amazing what my heart and my shoe pile have in common

With Fall rapidly approaching in just a day, one would think I would be frantically cleaning out my closet to check it off of my list. Well, one would be very wrong. I am sitting waiting for my little buddy to wake up from his nap watching Youtube videos that my husband e-mailed to me...

and sipping on some Starbucks. I actually was thinking this week that Starbucks should have a delivery service for moms during nap time. And then my friend, Laurette, read my mind and brought me a Starbucks gift card to my house yesterday. Amazing! Of course the gift card has burnt a whole in my pocket already. Oh, Starbucks. I hate you and I love you.

Oh closet, I only hate you.

Back to Starbucks (apparently I am not only avoiding cleaning my closet, I am avoiding writing about cleaning my closet)... as I have been working on my second care package in the mail, I have been thinking a lot about what I would miss if I were far away from home. Sadly, I don't think I could have family members or Frappuccinos easily mailed to me in a package. It is probably for the best that I am in Houston right now, but I LOVE putting together fun care packages for missionaries and I am learning to see ways that it propels me to prayer. It is easy for me to go to Target and shop. It is much harder for me to go to the Lord and pray.

I am feeling a mixture of things this week... today I laughed so hard with Owen that I teared up because there is so much joy in my life I can't handle it. And then in the more unsettling moments I well up with anxiety because I want everything to feel that way always and I think I can make it happen..if only I help each of my shoes find its match, then order will remain and my soul will be still. But then I resist it because deep down I know that I will still not feel perfect if my closet looks clean and that petrifies me.

So before I present my Autumn Nesting List later this week, I have had to take some time to remember that what I do is far less important than who God has made me to be. That helps me get through my day each time I open up my closet. It is still a scattered mess! It is amazing what my heart and my shoe pile have in common!

And that is where I am left for today: saying goodbye to summer... hopeful that beneath my flats and flops I will stumble upon some cooler weather and cozy socks. So when I "fall" on my boots for the billionth time this week, I will remember who I am in Christ and not just what I think I need to do to try and fix me. And when trip over my crumpled up jeans in the corner like I always do, I KNOW I will find grace in every pocket (and hopefully a Starbucks gift card or two).